Jul
28
Written by:
Harlan Cohen
7/28/2008 1:44 PM
The AP reports that a New Zealand court ruled that a name can be deemed as child abuse. Parents of "Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii" lost custody after the courts ruled in favor of the child. I say if you're going to give a child a crazy name, make it one with merchandising appeal...
Excerpted From Dad’s Pregnant Too:
Chapter 10 / Tip #66 THE NAME GAME: What to Call Him or Her…
"This hasn't happened yet, but it wouldn't surprise me if someone tried it. Depending on how early you are in the pregnancy, there may be an opportunity to fund your child's future by selling his or her naming rights. Let's say Cheetos wanted to promote their Cheetos Falmin' Hot Crunchy Snack brand. This would make my son's legal name "Cheetos Flamin' Hot Crunchy Cohen." This could be worth millions of dollars in exposure for Cheetos over my son's lifetime. And if Cheetos Flamin' Hot Crunchy cohen were to run for student council, become a star athlete, or end up on TV, radio, or in print... we're talking huge dollars."
Copyright © 2008 Help Me, Harlan! LLC
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2 comments so far...
Re: Cheetos Flamin' Hot Crunchy "Insert Your Last Name Here"
You've got a point, Harlan, but poor kiddo is going to have a LOT to deal with over time. Weirdly enough, it can also come down to pronunciation. In Phoenix, AZ, there is a well known meteorologist named Sean McLaughlin. Easy to remember, except his first name is pronounced SEEN, not SHAWN. Can you imagination every teacher, every year screwing that up? Big awards ceremonies? Graduations? Young Adult novelist Chris Crutcher does the same by naming his main character in the novel "Whale Talk," T.J. Jones. TJ stands for Tao Jones (as in Dow Jones). Why do we do this to our kids??? Even the hot shot Maverick in "Top Gun" upon introducing himself to Kelly McGillis is asked, "Did your parents hate you?" Shouldn't we be kind to our offspring? =)
By Andy Malinski on
8/26/2008 9:36 AM
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Re: Cheetos Flamin' Hot Crunchy "Insert Last Name Here"
I totally had this idea one night when I was joking around with one of my friends who owns his own business!!! I told him that for a cool milli a year I would name my daughter Merchant Excavating after his company!! he actually almost went for it seriously!!!! I think that the child would be totally fine because they won't know any different and if anything they should be greatful to their parents for financially securing their future.
By Erika Krueger-Annala on
10/29/2008 3:48 PM
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